Marriage 101: Burn Baby Burn…Keeping the Romance Alive

So Matt and I have been married for just a little over a year.  Yes, we are a newlywed couple in the truest of forms (few fights still have the heads in the clouds….).  We’re both fairly laid back people, so arguments are rare, and ironically are typically caused by our laid back-ness, and typically consist of, “What do you want to do?”….”I don’t know, what do you want to do?” if it’s not what to do it’s what to eat etc…. but these are never bad arguments.  But being a year into our marriage, we’ve realized the whole fascination and excitement of dating kind of dwindles just a little as you get caught up in your daily routine, see each other’s lovely spit in the sink every morning, catch a whiff at the wrong time, or even wake up to the lovely spouse drooling in their sleep – yeah the whole newness thing can easily wear away if not properly tended to. 

When we got married back in April 2008, my sister gave me a very special, but relatively simple gift, two glass jars with several pieces of paper in each, and a note attached. The note instructed both Matt and I to write the things we would like the other to do for us randomly.  And then once a week we would each draw from the other’s jar one piece of paper.  Whatever the paper says, we would do as a surprise for the other randomly that week.  My sister said it had been great in her marriage – and had helped her and her husband discover new things about each other and keep the excitement alive.

I wasn’t sure how easy it would be to one, get Matt to do it, and two maintain it over a period of time – so we actually didn’t start doing the whole jar thing until about a month ago.  I am glad to report, however, that it has thus far been a great success.  Matt loves it, and I’ve even gotten a few friends to try it, who also love it!  Most surprising to me, were the things Matt wrote on there that I didn’t realize were so important to him!  The biggest surprise, he loves to play tennis!  I didn’t know how important it was to him until now.

So whether you are dating, newly married, or an “old married” couple, the simple little jars are an amazing gift to your marriage.  It has definitely added some new excitement to our marriage and is a great way to remind yourself that marriage is not about you or I, it’s about “we” and feeding the others need before your own! 

So this is one way Matt and I have learned to take care of each other and keep our relationship special, what do you all do to take care of your relationships?


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